


My Parents Don't Know

by Iwaizumie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Plz I just want my precious heaven child to be happy., hes so precious., plz., protect him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 08:17:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9313193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwaizumie/pseuds/Iwaizumie
Summary: Abominations.Satori never expected for such a word to have such a drastic effect on his life.Yet here he is.Loosing sleep due to that one word that was spiralling round like a hurricaine.





	

Rain hit the window of Satoris bedroom, the soft patter being the only sound in the quiet room besides the tapping on Satoris phone.

 **1:47am**  
_~ toshi, are you awake?  
~ I can't sleep_

Sitting his phone down, Satori stared at the ceiling, focussing on the small, but still noticeable, blemishes that cover the plain white plaster. Trying to distract himself from the thoughts whizzing through his head at a million miles per hour.

Now focussing on the rather large indent in the corner of the room, remembering back to when he was a child, got too exited and threw a volleyball up, denting the ceiling. Transfixed by this memory he almost missed the quiet buzzing noise that came from his bed side table. Grabbing his phone, he unlocked it seeing two new messages under the name Toshi!<3

 **1:51am**  
_\- Yeah, I'm awake  
\- Why can't you sleep?_

Although he was happy he now had someone to talk to, he frowned, knowing that Wakatoshi is never awake at this hour, meaning he must have woke him up.

 **1:52am**  
_~Sorry, did I wake you?_  
_~ I'm sorry, you can go back to sleep, it's nothing.  
~ I'm fine_

Satori quickly set his phone down on his bed side table before shoving his head under his pillow so he couldn't hear the dull buzzing of his phone in the background. After who knows how long of lying with his face under a pillow, his eyes began to droop and he slowly entered a slumber, oblivious to the phone still buzzing beside him.

  
**_________**

 

The next morning was anything but fun. Mornings never are but when you only get around 3 hours sleep because you can't shut your brain up, it's even worse.

Satori groggily hit the snooze button on his alarm opting for another 5 minutes of sleep before he would get up.

Satori then proceeded to repeat this process for the next 20 minutes.

After finally getting out of bed he picked up his phone, the night before almost forgotten, his breath hitched as he saw the number of messages and calls he had received from Wakatoshi in the early hours of the morning.

***9 messages from: Toshi! <3***

***3 missed calls from: Toshi! <3***

Frowning slightly Satori unlocked his phone and began reading through the messages.

 **1:53am**  
_\- No it's okay, don't apologise, I was awake anyway.  
\- Plus I like talking to you._

 **1:57am**  
_\- Satori?_  
\- Are you okay?  
\- Are you there Satori?

 **1:59am** _  
\- Come on Satori talk to me, please._

***missed call at 2:01am from: Toshi! <3*  
*missed call at 2:04am from: Toshi!<3***

**2:05am** _  
\- Satori, please answer me._

 **2:48am**  
_\- Satori?_

*missed call at 2:53am from Toshi!<3*

 **3:36am**  
_\- I love you._

Satori frowned looking at the messages on the screen. He kept Toshi up till half 3am. Guilt already slowly entering his system, taking over every nerve till he felt sick. Quickly he sent Toshi a message before putting down his phone to start getting ready for his school day.

 **6:59am**  
_~ I'm so sorry Toshi!_  
~ I didn't mean to keep you up so late!  
~ I'm sorry.

After styling his hair into his usual spiked form, cleaning his teeth and pulling on his uniform, he headed down the stairs to have breakfast.

Taking the plate his mother had prepared for him he sat down hesitantly next to his father who was silently reading while drinking his morning coffee.

Some would never believe you if you told them how silent Satori was around his family. Given how loud and obnoxious he was around his friends, you would think he would be the same around them too.

But that couldn't be more wrong. Family moments in the Tendou household were awkward, silent and never quite seemed as homely as they should.

"How's school been?" His mother voice sounded forced, in an attempt to break the awkward silence.

"Good... We've got the finals coming up for volleyball then we're off to nationals so that's fun..." Satori trailed off his last words, allowing the sharp silence to fill the room once again.

As he finished his food, he placed his plate in the sink and headed up to his room to wait for the time to come when he was to meet Toshi on his walk to school. Picking up his phone he frowned slightly upon seeing no reply yet from Toshi to his earlier messages, assuming he may have just not checked his phone yet, he pushed any negative thoughts of why he hadn't responded to the back of his mind and pulled on his jacket throwing his bag over his shoulder and checking the time.

**8:17am**

Deciding to leave sooner rather than later Satori walked to the front door pulling on his shoes as he heard a mumbling coming from the kitchen.

"Did you hear about Semi's boy? Apparently he's _with another guy_ "

It was as if time had frozen. Satori froze and his breathing hitched. Of course, he knew of Eita and Kenjirou relationship, he's Eita's best friend how couldn't he have?

But to hear his father say those words with such venom in his voice, such hatred. It made him want to throw open the door and run as far as he could, as fast as he could. But yet, he stayed, listening to the words that made his head spin and his heart hurt.

"Oh god, the poor family. I can't begin imagine what it would be like to know you live with one of those _abominations_ "

That was when the tears began to prick in Satoris eyes.

 _Abominations_.

The word spiralled through Satoris brain making him dizzy. Quickly he opened the door, letting the cool morning air hit his face.

"Oh! Satori are you going now? Have a nice time at school!" He heard his mother call from the other room. Her tone was kind yet all he could hear was hatred.

_Abominations_

"Y-yeah, b-bye" he spoke, his voice only above a whisper, mentally cursing at himself for his shaky voice and trembling hands.

Closing the door behind him, he let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding, bringing his slightly trembling hand up to his eye to wipe away any evidence that there had once been tears there before slowly starting his walk to him and Toshi's usual meeting place.

 _Abominations_.

The word still spiralled through his head, burning it's way into his brain permanently. His mind now going through different scenarios of 'what if's', picturing every possible way that things could go wrong in his life. So lost in thought, Satori didn't see the figure of Wakatoshi approaching him until there was a hand on his shoulder, snapping him back to reality.

"Satori?" The deep voice questioned as Satori flinched slightly coming out of his daze.

"Wha- Oh! Toshi!" Satoris words jumped about with no structure before cutting out as he looked up at Wakatoshi's face, guilt flooding through his veins instantly.

Dark circles and bags, features unknown to Ushijima Wakatoshi's face, are now prominent marks that could be seen a mile away. Satoris words came out faster than he could process, his mouth working faster than his brain.

"Shit, Toshi I'm so sorry, I kept you up didn't I? I should never had said anything, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm sor-"

"Hey" Wakatoshi's calm voice cut off Satoris frantic & panicked one.

"It's okay, it looks worse than it is, I'm okay, trust me" Toshi took Satoris hands in his, softly running his thumbs over the back of the ever-so-slightly trembling hands.

"Now c'mon, we'll be late" Toshi spoke softly, pulling on Satoris hand gently letting one go before linking there inside fingers together as they slowly walked to the school building.

It was silent, but not the awkward kind like what happened this morning around his parents. This was a comfortable silence, letting both the boys think.

"Can I stay at your house this weekend?" Wakatoshi spoke quickly, breaking the silence startling Satori slightly.

"Wha- yea sure!" Satori grinned, speaking loudly "I'll ask mum when I get home tonight" his voice hitching ever so slightly when he mentioned his mother, barely audible and would go un-noticed by most people. But not Wakatoshi, who looked down at the red head with a confused expression and furrowed brows.

 

**____________**

 

The week went as a normal week would, classes pased, practice went fine, and Wakatoshi didn't receive another late night text from Satori.

But he still noticed the dark circles and bags under his round eyes getting worse as the week went on, his cheery and exited facade he was putting on around everyone was starting to annoy him. He didn't want to sit around and watch Satori suffer and not be able to do something about it.

When Friday came and the school day had finally ended, the two boys walked hand in hand down the streets towards Satoris house as Satori blundered on about a new volume of jump that he had recently bought, Wakatoshi silently listening to the fast, yet somehow calming voice of his boyfriend.

When they entered Satoris street, the smaller boy gently removed his hand from the others and put it in his pocket, earning him a very confused look from Wakatoshi, but he didn't say anything, deciding to ask later.

Entering the Tendou household was no different than usual. Loud TV playing in the background and Satoris mother yelling to prep the table instead of sitting about.

"We're home!" Satori shouted above the ruckus of the rest of the house.

"Satori! Wakatoshi! Hello!" Tendou-San spoke as loud and enthusiastic as ever, pausing her scolding of her husband as she talked to the boys. "You two can go out your stuff away and get changed out your practice uniform, I'll call you down in a bit for dinner" she spoke with a grin before returning to scolding her husband who had still not set the table.

"C'mon Toshi" Satori spoke with a smile taking a hold of Wakatoshi's wrist pulling him towards the stairs, up towards his room.

Satori's room was messy as it normally was, clothes and volumes of mangas sprawled across the floor in an unorganised manner.

After changing into more comfortable clothes they both sat on the edge of Satoris bed, Satori leaning his head against Wakatoshi's shoulder, obviously still worn out from practice earlier.

"Satori" Wakatoshi spoke softly, as if he would startle the red head.

"Yes Toshi?" Satori hummed a response, still not moving his head from the others shoulder, only opening his eyes slightly.

But before Wakatoshi could say anything else a loud knocking interrupted them and the door to Satoris room opened a crack, causing Satori to bolt upright, faster than Wakatoshi had ever seen him move before.

"Y-yea?" Satori answered quickly, nervously, so unlike Satori. In all the years Wakatoshi had known him, he had never heard him with such fear in his voice.

"That's dinner ready, can you come down now" Satori's mother spoke quickly, seemingly unaffected by the stutter in Satori's voice. The questions began building in Wakatoshi's head, piling on top of each other, trying to force their way to the front of his brain, begging that he ask them. But he decided it would be best to push away those questions and ask later when they were alone.

Dinner passed as it normally would, Wakatoshi being polite as ever while the tendou's spoke around him.

"So Wakatoshi," Satori's father began "it's been a while since we've seen you, how's school? got yourself a girlfriend yet?" The question made the two boys freeze, Wakatoshi glancing over to Satori who was now looking at Wakatoshi with a apologetic and fearful look, silently pleading that he just played along with whatever the man said.

"N-no I don't right now actually" Wakatoshi spoke slowly, his voice an octave lower than normal.

"Ah, head too full of volleyball eh?" The older man spoke and chuckled going back to eating his food.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that" Wakatoshi spoke quietly, looking over to Satori who now sat looking down at his food, no longer eating it, only pushing it around, trying to distract himself from the situation he was in.

Dinner passed slowly after that, an awkward silence surrounding the four as they ate.

"Me and Toshi are gonna go watch films for a bit then go to bed, see you tomorrow" Satori spoke quickly as he put his and Wakatoshi's dishes in the sink before grabbing Wakatoshi's wrist to pull him towards his room.

"Okay, the spare futon is in the closet as usual" his mother spoke before laughing, "Satori, you know you don't need to drag Wakatoshi everywhere with you, he can walk himself" Satori only hummed in response before leaving upstairs.

  
**________**

 

They both lay in Satori's bed under the covers, the futon laying on the floor long forgotten, having had a shower Satori's hair now fell over his forehead still slightly damp as he nuzzled his face into the crook of Wakatoshi's neck, the ace's arms wrapped around him, holding the smaller boy to his chest. Neither of them really focusing on the movie playing in front of them, only having it as background noise so they weren't left in silence.

If was now into the early hours of the morning, the film they were 'watching' had just began to fade into the end credits. Wakatoshi looked down to see the big round eyes of his boyfriend looking back up at him.

"Toshi..." Satori's voice was barely above whisper. Wakatoshi hummed in response, brining his face closer to Satoris. "... I love you Toshi" he spoke before burying his face back into Wakatoshi's neck.

"I love you too, Satori" Wakatoshi spoke, pressing a kiss to Satoris temples. Pausing, trying to think of the best way to bring up the conversation that he had been itching to have since Monday.

"Satori… what's wrong?" Wakatoshi finally spoke, feeling the red head stiffen in his hold, before relaxing and taking a shaky breath.

"It's nothing Toshi…" he trailed off "I-I'm fine" but to be honest, anyone could tell that this was a lie as Satori's hands started to tremble and he clung onto Wakatoshi's shirt, afraid he might somehow disappear from between his fingers.

"Satori, you and I both know that's not true" Wakatoshi spoke softly, afraid he might hurt the fragile boy. "Please, I want to help, please don't hide this from me" his gentle tone never wavering. His hand now rubbing small circles on Satori's back as the red head started to tremble all over, clutching onto the thin fabric of Wakatoshi's shirt like a lifeline.

"I- I just- I-" Satori managed to stutter out before the tears started. Burrowing his face back into Wakatoshi's chest, small hitching breaths escaped him, the only noise in the room being quiet muffled sobbing coming from Satori.

Wakatoshi stayed quiet simply running his hands through Satori's hair and rubbing his back. Wakatoshi was never the best with his words, and deciding to comfort with his actions instead, which in most cases, as rare as they were, usually worked, but not tonight.

Wakatoshi hated to see Satori like this, trembling uncontrollably, soaking Wakatoshi's shirt with his tears, letting the flood gates holding all the emotions he had let build up over the last week, finally burst, drowning him in his own panic.

"I'm s-sorry T-Toshi, I'm s-sorry, it-it's all my f-fault, I-I'm sorry" Satori soon became a stuttering mess of apologies and tears, gasping trying to catch his breath between hick-ups and words.

"Hey, Satori" Wakatoshi finally spoke softly moving so he could see Satori's face, cupping his face moving it to face him. However Satori's eyes stayed pressed shut as he repeated his mantra of apologies surrounded by short violent gasps of breath that didn't appear to be slowing down any time soon.

"Satori, look at me" with a slight shake of his head and a stutter of "I-I c-can't" Satori continued spiralling deeper into his state of panic.

"Satori..." Wakatoshi trailed off noticing the sudden silence of the smaller boy, however the short hitching breaths and trembling body still obvious. "Please…" he spoke softly, voice barely above a whisper, running his thumb under Satori's eye, wiping away the tears staining his cheeks. "Look at me, satori"

Satori slowly opened his eyes, seeing the worried face of Wakatoshi looking back at him, his breathing coming to a halt for a few seconds. Satori knew he probably looked like complete shit right now, but as he found himself, looking into the eyes of the man he loves more than anything else, not caring about what he looked like. He only cared that he had caused such a painful and worried expression to cross such a beautiful face like Wakatoshi's.

"Toshi..." Satori trailed off, unable to even think about finishing his sentence before Wakatoshi collided his lips with his.

The smoothness of Wakatoshi's soft lips against his own, chapped and rough from many nights this week of gnawing at them while stressing over what happened that day and what might happen in the next, was calming, in a way that nothing else could be. The emotion running through such a simple kiss was almost overwhelming. Feeling out of breath far more easily than normal, Satori gently pulled away from the kiss, resting his forehead against Wakatoshi's with his eyes shut, simply listening to the rhythmic breathing of the other boy, slowly calming his breathing down to a normal pace.

"Satori" Wakatoshi's smooth voice began, "I hate seeing you like this, please, tell me what's wrong" Wakatoshi spoke gently, one hand softly rubbing his thumb on Satori's cheekbone, the other gently playing with the soft red hairs at the base of his hairline.

"It's... It's a long s-story…" Satori trailed off, in a last effort to convince the brunette to drop the subject and go to sleep. However he knew that this was pretty much pointless now. He couldn't get out of the situation he found himself in.

"I'll listen" Wakatoshi spoke softly, moving so that he now had his arms around the red head, gently caressing his shoulder blades and slowly moving down letting his hands rest on Satori's lower back.

"M-m parents," satori started, unable to look Wakatoshi in the eyes as he spoke, now staring at the blank wall behind him, "they-they don't kn-know about... about us" Satori spoke, voice quivering, barely audible, full of anxiety and uncertainty. "T-they… they don't even know a-about m-me being…" Satori trailed off, finding himself unable to say the word that did nothing but remind him of what his parents would think of him if he ever told them who he loved.

Wakatoshi, noticing the red-heads breathing starting to pick up again, pulled satori into his chest once again, gently rubbing his back and whispering small promises of "it's okay" and "it will be fine"

"B-but you d-dont get it Toshi!" Satori spoke with more urgency pulling away from Wakatoshi's embrace, flinching in on himself when his statement came out louder than he anticipated.

"Then please, help me understand Satori, help me help you" Wakatoshi spoke causing Satori to slowly relax himself, not realising he was tense in the first place, before resting his head on Wakatoshi's shoulder, nuzzling his way into the crook of his neck.

"My parents…" Satori began, his voice slightly muffled by the others neck but still understandable, "they… they aren't the most…" Satori paused, as if he was searching for right words, "accepting people…"

That's when the pieces in Wakatoshi's brain all clicked together.

"Satori…" Wakatoshi's voice was so quiet than even Satori, even with how close he was, almost missed it "I'm… I'm sorry" he spoke, his grip on the smaller of the two tightening slightly, as if to protect him from anything that could hurt him.

"It's okay Toshi" satori spoke with a wavering voice, hinting at the need to cry. "You don't have to apologise, you didn't do anything wrong" the red head slowly lifted his head from the others neck, lifting it to look at Wakatoshi, bringing a hand up to gently cup his face.

Tears were swimming in Satori's eyes as Wakatoshi also brought up a hand, repeating Satori's action. Gently caressing Satori's cheek, their faces only centimetres apart, Wakatoshi closed the gap untill their foreheads were pressed together and their lips were brushing, but not quite touching yet.

"I love you Satori, so much, please don't ever forget that" Wakatoshi spoke with such certainty in his voice that is shocked Satori. Wakatoshi, who had never been very at one with his emotions, due to not knowing what they meant most of the time, had just said something like that, with such confidence was too much for Satori to handle. The tears swimming in his eyes now poured down his cheeks, quickly wiped away by Wakatoshi, however these tears were different than the ones he had ahead earlier in the night, these tears had no harsh breath or sobbing following them, no stuttering words or shaky voice. Only strong words with more certainty than anything he had ever spoken before.

"I love you too Toshi, I love you so so much" Satori spoke with a wide grin spreading its way across his face before closing the gap between them, pressing their lips together.

Electricity spread over Satori, as much as it did when they first kissed, the pleasurable bliss of emotions that were communicated through the kiss was almost overwhelming for Satori, not being used to this kind of emotional expression from Wakatoshi. Normally they were more subtle, through gentle touches and light kisses that barely brush the surface of how he actually feels. But now, with Wakatoshi showing such clear emotion, he couldn't help but return it.

After a long moment of pure bliss and sincerity, the two split, eyes closed and breath heavy as they slowly parted.

They moved gently so that they were both lying comfortably, Satori's arms wrapped around the waist of the larger boy and his head resting against his chest just above his heart, listening to the calming rhythmic bearing of his heart as he felt his eyes begin to droop.

Satori felt a the soft pressure of Wakatoshi's lips against his temple before hearing a quiet, almost whisper, coming from Wakatoshi, who had probably assumed that the redhead had fallen asleep.

"I won't let anything bad happen to you"

Satori's breath lightly hitched in surprise at the statement before he nuzzled into Wakatoshi even more than before trying to hide the blush on his face and tightened his grip on his waist.

Slowly allowing himself to fall asleep, wrapped in Wakatoshi's arms, Satori fell into the best slumber he had had all week, the smile he wore never leaving his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If there are any mistakes feel free to let me know :)
> 
> Tumblr ~ [@tendouisgay](http://tendouisgay.tumblr.com)


End file.
